I still can’t believe that’s it’s been four weeks since I threw on a gorgeous hospital gown, a pair of bright yellow no slip socks, and was rolled into the OR at St. David’s. It’s crazy how time flies, even when you’re recovering 😉
I feel like I have SO much to tell you, but let me start with the surgery itself. As many of you know, I did this surgery on November 18th, 2020 – AKA right in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic. I was nervous, to say the least, and spent the weeks leading up to it wondering if I was making the right decision. Even though my risk of breast cancer was in the 80’s, having a preventative surgery like this and changing my body/loosing breast sensitivity was still a really hard concept to wrap my head around.
On November 17th, St. David’s called me up and gave me the rundown for how everything would work the following day. No food past midnight (my stomach rumbled just thinking about that), check-in at the hospital would be at 11:30am and one visitor over the age of 18 would be allowed back with me/in the waiting room/in the hospital room overnight. YAY! We were originally told that visitor regulations change daily due to Covid, so we had no idea if Ben would be allowed in the building.
Once we got the good news that he could come in, we decided that it would be best for him to be there before and after the surgery, but not during since it would be like a 7 hour wait time. He was able to give the hospital his number for text updates so he could stay in the loop throughout the day.
Fast forward to the next morning and I woke up, rolled out of bed and waited for the intense nerves to hit…but they didn’t, at least not right away 🙂
As we packed up my hospital bag, I actually felt a sense of peace and calm knowing that this day was finally here. And for the first time since this process started, I actually felt brave – a word that so many people used when I told them about this surgery, but that I never really felt towards myself. In that moment though, I felt it. I felt brave that I made a such hard decision and proud that this decision was about to change my life for the better.
Ben and I finished packing and then I took a loooong shower and even curled my hair. Weird – I know lol but a head of fresh curls made me feel confident and that’s how I wanted to go into this day!
We loaded up the car and rolled up the hospital at 11:30am sharp for check-in. We went through the Covid screening protocols, filled out some paperwork, and then we were brought back into a small room where they handed me a hospital gown and started prepping me for surgery. It was go time.
After a bit of alone time in the room, a nurse came in to confirm my procedure and asked me to tell her, in my own words, what I was there for and I said “a prophylactic bilateral nipple and skin sparing mastectomy with over the muscle tissue expanders.” Man, I never thought such a complex sentence could flow out so easily.
As I was sitting there in that small prep room, my nerves started to get the best of me. I knew they were in there somewhere! I started to worry about everything – what if something went wrong? What if I didn’t wake up? What if they got in there and couldn’t keep my nipples or had to do something that we didn’t originally have planned? There are so many what if’s – most of which would never happen – but my mind was racing with the possibilities.
Ben calmed me down using some voodoo magic – aka funny videos on Imgur and before I knew it, it was time to go. The nurse unlocked the bed, pushed me out the prep room door and we were off. I looked back for a split second and nervously waived to Ben as we turned the corner and went straight into the bright and sterol OR.
The OR was much less terrifying then I thought it would be. I instantly saw my breast surgeon, the anesthesiologist and a few nurses who were all laughing and joking around. I moved myself from the bed to the OR table where I chatted with my breast surgeon and spewed out a bunch of jibberish about how much I liked her (thanks drugs) as the anesthesiologist put me to sleep.
What felt like 5 minutes later, I woke up in the recovery room. I opened one eye, realized I was still alive, and let myself drift off for another hour. I woke up again – I think because I was thirsty – and started talking to the nurse next to me. The first thing I asked was when I could take my bonnet (aka the hairnet) off, the second thing I asked was what time it was (I was so curious on how long the surgery was – I also wanted to make sure I didn’t end up in a Lifetime movie and it was suddenly the year 2033), the third thing I asked was if my nipples were still able to be saved (one of my biggest concerns) and then the forth thing was if I could have some water.
As I was munching on an ice chip, the breast surgeon swung my curtain back to say hi and check-in. She said everything went perfectly, reassured me again that my nipples were still in there, hidden under the gauze, and that they would be by in the morning to see how everything was looking before hopefully discharging me!
Shortly after, I was rolled to my hospital room. I was shocked at how awake and like myself I felt. My chest was numb and my range of motion was basically zero, but my mind was surprisingly clear. I joked around with the nurse wheeling my bed and said “I did it!” as we cleared the door to the room and I saw Ben for the first time.
I moved into the hospital bed and spent the next few hours going in and out of sleep as cartoons played in the background – that awake feeling I felt 30 minutes prior obviously didn’t last long 🙂 I also learned really quickly what post-surgical “fatigue” felt like. Just having a quick conversation made me exhausted and totally out to breath.
That rest of that night was a blur of people coming in and out, the lights being flicked on and off and the nurses emptying my drains, taking my temp, and readjusting the hot air blowing onto my chest to help with blood flow to the nipples.
The next morning we woke up (well, let’s be real – we were basically up all night because it’s impossible to truly sleep in the hospital!) and got instructions for how to change the dressings on my incisions, how to empty and record my drain output and the breathing exercises I would need to do hourly.
They discharged me around 9:30am, wheeled me out to the car and Ben and I drove 5mph back home to avoid any major bumps lol
As soon as we got home and I got settled in, the realization of what I had just gone through hit and I knew this was just the start of my recovery.
And that’s part one – the surgery! I’ll make sure to get some more blog posts up that break down the first month and then the reconstruction process as well!
Ps. If you’re in the Austin area and you’re looking to do a similar surgery, I would highly recommend my surgeons that I went to. Dr. Julie Sprunt and Dr. Elisabeth Potter work together regularly and were so amazing. They answered all of my questions, made me feel so in control of the process and I trusted them 100%. It can be really hard to coordinate two separate surgeons, so I loved that their offices had such a close relationship – it took a lot of the stress off of me!
